Hi dear reader,
How is your heart doing?
In this moment, my heart is tender. More open that I can remember in a while and nourished by some beautiful moments with kin this month, which allowed me to reconnect to wonder and joy (after some weeks of grief and dread following the death of my friend in May).
My heart is also heavy with the grief of the genocide in Palestine which has been ongoing for close to 11 months now. I feel sickened and enraged by the response from leaders in the West who continue to send weapons to Israel while pretending they are doing everything in their power to achieve a ceasefire. An arms embargo would be a response that has teeth. May that soon come. May people continue to make connections between the genocide in Palestine, in Sudan, the harms ongoing in Congo, Haiti and all those struggling to get out of the grip of Western imperial interests. During the recent far right riots in the UK, my wise mother reminded me that “there are more of us aligned with life and love than there are of those in ignorance”. I am holding this close to my chest.
The enactment of brutality and destruction does not keep any of us safe. I pray that we see an end to the occupation in our lifetimes and a context in which Palestinian people can live with self determination, safety, dignity and belonging in their home lands. I pray that those who align with the actions of the Israeli state realise that the violence must end and the work of repair must happen. Whether it is within one state, two states or as neighbours on this Earth, coexistence is necessary. I pray that all Israeli and Palestinian beings in captivity are released. I pray that the choices we make in the months and weeks ahead will create conditions that enable as many beings as possible to live with safety, care, their needs met and their lives cherished.
Trust must be repaired on all sides. That much is clear to me. I pray that coalitions will strengthen among those aligned with life, and long term strategy can develop, even with the noise and ridiculousness of this US election cycle. Ase.
Amidst the horror of these times, I am grateful to be connecting to the wonder of this life and the small moments of beauty present in my days. The Earth and the abundance she provides is an anchor point for me at this moment. Even with the pain, there is so much abundance. That is what is giving me the most strength these days — trusting in the Earth, the plants, the sun, kin. The universal principle of abundance rather than the artificial scarcity created by capitalism.
This year, I became a member of an organic, community farm. The first photo in the newsletter is of the harvest last week. Since April, I’ve been harvesting my vegetables every weekend and this has given me a deeper appreciation of the land and the food that nourishes me. This brings me a lot of joy (and allows me to eat organic food at an affordable cost). For the first time in my life, I have a visceral connection to the abundance of the land and the ways I am cared for (including by the farmers). It’s also given me a deeper connection to what a tough growing season this has been. Going to the farm for some months has given me a front row seat to the current impacts of climate change / ecocide in the Netherlands and the challenges this is already creating with growing food. It’s been a hard season to say the least (but thankfully the summer sun has been supportive with the crops). The weather changes at play are not simply inconvenient— they have the potential to prevent our food from growing at all. Many in the global south are already living with the impacts of climate catastrophe and what this means for their ability to meet their basic needs.
Something I noticed earlier this year, during the very wet and cold spring we had in the Netherlands, is how much people complain about the weather (but rarely appreciate the Earth). Comments would often go something like, “I am so sick of this shit. I need it to be sunny now”. I started to become frustrated hearing these sentiments over and over so I explored what was eating at me.
Of course, people feel what they feel (and seasonal depression is truly a thing) but the frequency of these comments got me curious and led me to a few conclusions:
For many of us, there is cognitive dissonance at play. Instead of feeling the understandable fear and grief that comes when we notice how the seasonal weather is shifting and how this relates to ecocide more broadly, we fixate on getting the weather we want and focus on annoyance when this doesn’t happen (rather than the deeper layers of grief / fear).
—>What would it look like to really feel the sadness and loss of the beautiful seasons (& more than human kin) many of us grew up with? Would it motivate us to make some changes that support the Earth and our ecosystems in service of that love and grief?
I feel many of us are approaching the Earth as an unappreciative or at times abusive partner— with demands and entitlement rather than appreciation of all the abundance the Earth provides, despite the struggles she is experiencing. She is trying to adapt to sustain life. Even with bombs falling, fossil fuels and extraction. Can we take some moments to appreciate that? To really feel all that she provides for free (in contrast to the artificial scarcity created by neoliberalism).
I invite you to approach the Earth as you would a lover. Release expectation, contribute appreciation, gifts and wonder. I sense this shift in perspective and relationship will allow us to begin moving back towards a stewardship dynamic with the Earth as opposed to the extractive, domination based approach many of us are entangled within. In terms of stewardship, there is a lot we can learn from Indigenous peoples as they currently steward the most biodiverse regions on the planet. If you haven’t read Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, that’s a good place to start.
How can we honour the universal principle of abundance? We can notice and appreciate that the Earth provides for us with food, with medicine, with water to hydrate and clean our bodies. The sun warms our skin and allows the crops to grow. Plants offer life lessons, altered states of consciousness and provide beauty. Gravity supports us to be grounded. The Earth even releases an electromagnetic charge that reduces inflammation in our bodies (when we connect to it, ideally skin to skin). Some Western folks who harness this energy in a strategic way call this Earthing. There is so much abundance. How can we get in alignment with that? How can we avoid falling for the induced scarcity pushed by the neoliberal paradigm? How can we stay connected to gratitude even in the midst of grief and horror?
I have a practice of thanking the Earth everyday. I do this energetically and in my daily prayers after meditating but also in practical ways by composting my food waste and contributing some of my monthly menstrual blood to the soil.
I feel it’s important to also honour the sadness of seasons changing, the grief and fear that arise when we consider what has already been lost to ecocide and what else may change in our lifetimes. Notice where you feel this in your body? What would you like to do to show some love to the Earth in action? I sense feeling the grief is a necessary starting point to orienting to this moment and figuring out how we can contribute to change.
All this to say, I hope you can connect to the gratitude, to the abundance, to feel the grief and possibility of this time and allow it to move you.
As a final note, from September most of my long form posts will be for paid subscribers (and I’ll be aiming for 2 posts a month- more info soon). There will be some content here and then for free subscribers but I am no longer able to sustain this without some financial support. Like many, the cost of living crisis has been hitting me hard this year and I am taking steps to try to sustain the work I do. If you are moved by this newsletter and feel to support my work, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. If you are already a paid subscriber, thank you for your support - it means a lot! If you are unable to support financially at this time, I understand. I will still post my upcoming events and some thoughts here and there.
Sending love and solidarity,
Cami x
Upcoming Events
September 3rd, online - In conversation with Bayo Akomolafe. Register free here.
September 17th, online - IG Live with Kai Cheng Thom (more info on IG soon).
September 21st, in person - Community Care panel & workshop, Emerging Change Dance Festival in Berlin.
October 13th, in person - Dance your Grief workshop at Good Grief Festival, Weston, UK
October 10th, online - Grief, Healing & Embodied Liberation Panel to support the release of Body Autonomy.
October 23rd, in person - London launch for Tending Grief at the ICA! Ticket link to come soon.
Thank you for reading. If this resonates with you, please share with someone else. If you would like to support my work, here are a few ways you can do so:
You can become a paid subscriber to this newsletter (posts will come twice a month, usually one longer and one shorter with upcoming events).
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I ordered the book! Can't wait to read it 🥰
I thank you for your prays in this moment of deep horror. I had to take a break from Instagram as it was becoming too much to bear, but what I have found is that the conscious pause is helping me come into contact with the depths of my love and empathy.